"It's helpful to think of lying as a defiance of the truth and bullshitting asa wholesale dismissal of the truth. Second, it's advantageous to recognize how we often rely on bullshitting when we feel compelled ot talk about things we don't understand." - Brene Brown.
This title says it all! I mean we can all relate, right?! It is actually funny as I write this and think - well I am did exactly what she said as I opened and started reading. I had an opinion without even knowing what the topic was really going to be about. I started debating in my head - you do that right? I started debating with myself and having very strong feelings about bullshit and what people say and do. I did this before even knowing what she had written in the chapter. Darn it. I got sucked in!
My thoughts pulled right to - I am not a bullshitter and if you are well you are not coming to my house for dinner. So there. Tongue sticking out and all! This is what philosophy is considered a false dichotomy or false dilemma. We force people to take sides. It feels safe to take a side. This is something that occurs in high emotional situations. Unfortunately, this creates a side chosen out of fear and not critical thinking.
When we have critical thinking and problem solving we have courage and integrity. We are able to have civility and this is when we can have caring and respect for others. This is a great time to go back to the concept earlier in the book of BRAVING.
Use the acronym braving as a check list for a topic. Choose a topic: journal or discuss using the checklist.
1. Boundaries. What is ok to discuss? How do you set a boundary on a topic?
2. Reliability. Do you BS to much? Are you or the individual trustworthy and reliable?
3. Accountability. How can you keep yourself and others accountable?
4. Vault. Civility means you are confidential with information.
5. Integrity. How do you maintain integrity and make sure the conversation is productive.
6. Non-judgment. Are you able to go into a connection mode and not a place of choose sides.
7. Generosity. What are generous assumptions you can make about others? What boundaries have to be in place so that we can ensure we are more tolerant and kinder?